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Fellow Fans,
Everything is proceeding as we have
foreseen.
Actually, that's not true! We're freaking
out! There have been some absolutely mind-blowing developments in the past
twenty-four hours. You won't believe this! We're about to unveil news that will to blow the roof off
this whole story!
Since launching our boycott against the
Weinstein Company a few days ago, we've had an amazing response. Over a
thousand people have contacted us (both here and on
Myspace) to voice
their support and to demand the Original Version of Fanboys! (If you don't
know the details of our boycott, please check out Our Mission below).
News of the boycott is spreading around
the globe. As a result of the initial
AICN post, articles like this one (
'FANBOYS' Recut Incites Rebellion!
) are now popping up all over the place.
Now, here's where it gets interesting.
Yesterday afternoon an article was posted on Cinematical.com titled "The
Dirty Truth About FANBOYS." It confirmed our worst fears.
Citing a "a well-placed, super delegate
secret spy source," the article reveals that the Weinstein Co. has taken
FANBOYS away from the Star Wars fans who made it and handed it over to
Steve Brill (the creative
genius behind crap like Little Nicky and Without a Paddle).
Apparently, he's the mastermind behind the "no cancer" version of Fanboys.
According to their source, he's reshot and recut the movie so that "the
story is now disjointed, nonsensical and lacking any heart."
It goes on to say that "Brill re-cut the
film and they tested it again -- this time it was tighter, dirtier and
contained nudity, lots of F-bombs, the whole works. And even with all that,
it still only tested two points higher than the old version (Tested higher
with an audience of mostly teenage boys in Burbank, according to fans who
were there. -JP). But
since Weinstein had to justify the fact that they spent an extra $2 million
on the re-shoots, they went with the newer, flashier, Without a Paddle-esque
version of Fanboys."
Like I said. Our worst fears confirmed! Darth Weinstein has handed FANBOYS
over to the hack who wrote all of the Mighty Ducks movies, so that he
can rip out the movie's heart, and replace it with lots of T&A and bathroom
humor! Great!
What's that? You want some proof that this guy is a
complete idiot? We've got it! BECAUSE HE E-MAILED US YESTERDAY!
DARTH WEINSTEIN'S CHIEF UNDERLING HAS
MADE CONTACT!!!
And from the content of the email, he
obviously thought he was writing us anonymously. He signed his email with
the initials "GL." Probably a lame jab at George Lucas.
But guess what? This rocket scientist
forgot to take his name out of the "From" line!!! Thank you, Mr.
Brill! This is best present we've received since last year's Life Day!
Here is Grand Moff Brill-o-Head's email
in its entirety. (And yes - that's his e-mail address. Feel free to send him
some of your thoughts, gang!)
First we'll let you read the whole thing,
then we'll let you read our response:
To: stopdarthweinstein@yahoo.com
From: "Steven Brill" <frankhuddy@aol.com>
Subject: None
Date: Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:14:17 -0800
I can hook you up with the facts on this one.
My only advice is don't judge something til you have seen it. Have
you seen the cancer version of this movie? I have. It is
unreleaseable.
It would be irresponsible to release it. The cancer is used as a
convenient subplot and is actually offensive to anybody who knows
anything about or has gone through cancer. Trust me. You are
fighting for something that you would not be proud of. Cancer is
trivialized, marginalized and reduced to the worst kind of
contrivance. That is what you are fighting to see. And you will see
it. At least on the dvd. And you will cringe at the bad,
manipulative melodrama that goes against the true spirit of the
piece. The non cancer version is true, joyful and and in no way
condescending to star wars fans. But again. You should see it. And
perhaps you will. If you stop ranting about things you have not
seen. You honestly remind me of the religious right condemning
movies and books they haven't seen or read, and have only been fed
inflammatory facts about....usually from people with an agenda.
Your precious Star Wars homage movie has been made, and has been
preserved......you will see. And then you should apologize to
Darth Weinstein......
yr pal,
GL |
Grand Moff Brill-o-Head
Doesn't that make you sick? This is the guy
that Darth Weinstein has given control of Fanboys! A guy who clearly HATES
STAR WARS FANS!
Let's answer Grand Moff Brill-o-head's
e-mail, point-by-point!
>>I can hook you up with the facts on this one.
My only advice is don't judge something til you have seen it.
Hey! Genius! We say right on our page
that we HAVE SEEN the original cut! We've got a whole
page of reviews by fans who saw it at LA test
screenings and at Celebration Europe. We were among the people who gave it
THREE STANDING OVATIONS, douchebag! (Do you really
think your no-cancer cut will ever get a standing ovation? From anyone???)
>>Have
you seen the cancer version of this movie? I have. It is
unreleaseable.
It would be irresponsible to release it.
This coming from the guy who wrote and
directed Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, and other crimes against humanity.
>>The cancer is used as a
convenient subplot and is actually offensive to anybody who knows
anything about or has gone through cancer.
Really? According to
this
article and
this one, the writer of Fanboys, Ernest Cline, wrote the movie the year
after his own mother died of cancer.
>>Trust me. You are
fighting for something that you would not be proud of. Cancer is
trivialized, marginalized and reduced to the worst kind of
contrivance. That is what you are fighting to see. And you will see
it. At least on the dvd.
Oh really? Have you and Darth Weinstein
discussed this? Do you plan to release your bastardized recut first, and
then try and leech money off real Star Wars fans by releasing an Original
Cut DVD several months later?
Guess what? That won't appease us! If the
Original Cut isn't the one released in theaters, our boycott of the
Weinstein Company will continue until it is! (And we'll boycott your
upcoming crapfest Drillbit Taylor, too. Which will be easy, because we
already hear that it sucks.)
>>And you will cringe at the bad,
manipulative melodrama that goes against the true spirit of the
piece.
The non cancer version is true, joyful and and in no way
condescending to star wars fans.
Listen, asshat. Changing the entire plot
of the movie so that the Star Wars fans break in to Skywalker Ranch just
because they're "dorks" is BEYOND condescending. It is insulting to Star
Wars fans everywhere. If you WERE ACTUALLY A STAR WARS FAN, you'd understand
that, Grand Moff Brill-o-Head! And besides, we're not particularly interested
in what the tool who wrote Little Nicky thinks is "true" or "joyful."
And what would a hack brought in to recut
a movie against the wishes of the people who made it know about "the
true spirit of the piece?!!!"
>>But again. You should see it. And
perhaps you will.
Um... No we won't. Perhaps you didn't
notice, but we're running an entire internet campaign to boycott your
no-plot version, genius! We don't EVER WANT TO SEE IT! NO ONE DOES!
>>If you stop ranting about things you have not
seen. You honestly remind me of the religious right condemning
movies and books they haven't seen or read, and have only been fed
inflammatory facts about....usually from people with an agenda.
Hmm. Is it possible that YOU HAVE AN
AGENDA, Grand Moff Brill-o-Head?! Since you're the one getting paid by Darth
Weinstein to RUIN THE MOVIE? Perhaps you should look up the word
hypocrite
in the dictionary!
And, in addition to Star Wars fans, it
sounds like you hate Christians, too. I'd really love to read some of the
emails you're going to be getting this weekend.
>>Your precious Star Wars homage movie has been made, and has been
preserved......you will see. And then you should apologize to
Darth Weinstein......
Yeah, I don't really see that happening.
Why would we apologize to Darth Weinstein for handing over our "precious
Star Wars homage movie" to someone who clearly hates Star Wars fans???
I can't wait to see how Lord Weinstein
reacts when he finds out you've been bashing the fans on the internet. This
should be fun to watch. Have a great weekend!
Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go
alert every movie news website in the world about this post.
May the Force Be With You (and God
Bless),
Jek Porkins
and the Stop Darth Weinstein Squadron
2.22.2008
This is Jek Porkins, and I'm right with you, Red Two!
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